As we continue to expose the systemic inequalities and injustices that have pervaded our society for centuries, we are beginning to see the threatened, knee-jerk reactions of the historically-privileged as their black and white outline of a world begins to get colored in.
There are few more profound outward expressions of this natural, yet unfortunate reaction than the exclamatory statement, “I’m not racist.” Yes, you almost certainly are. Allow me to explain.
Claiming that you’re not a racist is like claiming you’re not rude. You may think you’re not rude, but you are not allowed to make that determination. Rudeness is always and only in the eye of the receiver.
I have yet to meet a rude person who thought they were rude. They may have believed they were straightforward, honest, or tell-it-like-it-is, and yet they came across as rude as our system is rigged. Therefore, you may be saying, doing, and believing racist things without intending to do so. Yet it is what actually happens, not what you intend to happen, that makes all the difference in the world.
Notice that when this statement is uttered, it is almost invariably before or after a statement you know, or suspect greatly, is racist. I can easily rest my case in this point. For example, you would never let people know you’re not racist before checking out at the supermarket. That would be senseless as there is no concern whatsoever that racism plays a role in your hot pockets and toilet paper purchase. Indigestion perhaps, but not racism.
The phrase “I’m not racist, but…” is certainly going to be followed by a racist remark. It even tells us that you are planning to be racist and incredulously, you expect us to excuse you for it. Hint: It doesn’t help your case. The mere qualifier here indeed makes you, and your “but”, racist.
If you feel the need to add your statement to the end of your diatribe, that is also an excellent indication that you probably said something inappropriate. I would recommend reflecting on that and apologizing if need be. Defending it with your “proclamation of privilege” is only adding the fuel of intolerance to the deep-seated supremacist fire burning inside.
Finally, trustworthy people would never let you know that they’re trustworthy. They have built trustworthiness into their mindset, attitude, behavior, and speech. It is so authentically ingrained that they give no thought to articulating it. More to the point, when someone says “trust me” that’s probably the last thing you want to do.
Do trustworthy people make mistakes? Do they sometimes break trust? Of course, we are all human. The key is that they are intent on being trustworthy, understand what it takes to earn and keep trust, and are aware and corrective when they mess up. Their humility and honesty about themselves is what builds even more trust.
Look, we’re not born racist. I believe nobody truly wants to be racist either. However, we just can’t wish away our programming and pretend decades of subtle whitewashing and inherent privilege don’t exist. We can be aware of these things and how they have influenced us and continue to influence us.
The purpose of awareness is not guilt or shame. Those are low-level emotions that are tied to a defense mechanism around our identity. An attack on our racist tendencies (behavior) is perceived like an attack on the core of who we are. Yet at our core, we are a big pile of love.
"We just have to be willing to scrape away the baked-on crust of conditioning with the Brillo pad of empathy and compassion."
Awareness is the first step. It is about acknowledging what is, understanding how this affect other people, and fostering an openness to change ourselves in support of making the world better for everyone. Do the right thing because it’s right. No more silent complicit majority.
Josh Zepess
josh@theedje.org